Wednesday, January 9, 2013

The Witch Population

So, your a witch and you live in the big city and you look around you thinking about all the other witches. You close your eyes and point to someone and... oh my gosh! You're pointing to a witch! You walk over and you say, 

Hey! I'm a witch, too! 

And they look at you like your crazy and say,

 Uhh, you're kidding, right? There's no such this as witches! 

But there's that certain tremor in their eye that says, Wait, how did you know that? So you shrug and walk away, but she just stands there for a few seconds, in a way that definitely confirms your suspicions. So, you walk to another street corner, and do it again. This time you point to a young mother of two witch babies (twins) and you decide to leave her be, she has enough on her plate.

So, you walk to another corner. This one is less crowded. You twirl on your tiptoes with your eyes clamped shut. When you open them, your pointing into a shop window, at a girl who's trying to sell sandwiches (Get it? Sandwiches?) and your witchy senses tell you she's not having the best day. So, you take a Sharpie and a $20 out of your pocket and you write her a quick note about how amazing it is to be a witch in this big city. Then you go in and buy a pastry with the bill.

You skip down the street and down a staircase into the Subway. There's a teenager sitting on a bench texting on an iPhone, and you spy that her case has a picture of a witch on it. You can just imagine her friends thinking,

Oh my gosh! What's with the witch obsession?

You hop the turnstile gaily and hop on the first train that comes. You walk to the back of the car, and see a women of around 35 with earphones in her ears. She's taking a nap. You can tell that she's very tired, and really just wants to be at home in front of her T.V., so instead of waking her up you just leave her a ball of burning happiness in the seat next to her.

You get off the next stop and walk to your apartment building. Before going upstairs you stop by the mail room to see the elderly witch named Amanda. She asks,

What've you been up to?

And you answer,

Oh, just checking on the witch population.


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